i'm calling out to you.

friends. i need your prayers.i need your assurance. i need your patience. i need your help.i am not in a good time right now and being away from the ones that i am able to confide in and trust dosn't help.i 've never fought with my sister before(there is 14 years between us)..but in the last week it has been stressful to the breaking point.i'm hurt and i'm sure she is too.i need the patience to get through these last days .i'm tired , afraid and stressed. Thing that she's does when she's stressed are the things that stress me the most. And i know that i'm not the easiest person to live with either.this is a small glimps into some of the stuff that i am dealing with right now. I apoligize if i seem like i am hiding . hiding things that make me who i am.hiding from the people whom i trust the most.
right now what i need is not for you to tell me that it is gonna be ok . but you to be here with me when it's not.
friends here's the truth.i live behind a mask. a mask that tells people that i'm a happy go lucky person who is not easily angered and that is laid back. who has a perfect life a perfect family.and the truth is that i would love for everyone to go on believing those things.but the problem is that would be a lie to you and to myself.And i'm afraid that if i don't try to slowly break away the mask that it may get messy and you will all quickly realise who i am.so again i ask you for your prayers your assurance your patience. i need your help.

i hate the word someone.that is it.i hate it.i wish that i never had to use the word ever again.
.the end.

the rock won't get out of my shoe...it's starting to hurt.