Saturday, February 02, 2008

The world is going to shit.

I hate this feeling, the feeling of hopelessness and not being about to anything about it. I see stuff going on alround be and the little i can do i don't see make a difference. Frig.





Friday, February 01, 2008

So The unrest in Kenya right now is affecting me much more that i would have ever thought.

Some back ground:

The Leader of the country is from the Kikuyu tribe, and in the election a member of another tribe was elected but the vote was said to be corrupt. So vnow the two tribes are fighting, severaly kikuyu chuches have benn burnt down with everyone inside. This is extreamly hard to hear for anyone but i also have a personal attachment...
My dad's best friend through colledge and my God father Moses Njoroge is a preist and professer in kenya. He is a member of the kikuyu tribe. I presume that you can see where i'm going. Another thing is that all last week my dad has been sending him e-mails...none of them returned. The other day we tried calling( it's hard to work out the greatest times) but his phone had been disconnected.

This has affected me way more that i would have thought, you see i don't really "know" him. He's my God father whom i have heard storys about and seen pictures and sends us an e-mail once and a while but the last time he saw me i was small enough to hold.

For years i've somehow felt a supernatural maybe attachment to kenya, maybe because of moses or maybe a calling from God. A few years ago i made it my plan to save my money and fly to Kenya as a mission trip and as a way of getting to know moses.

Well friends i'm now on a desprate search. I've been trying to understand more about the situation and also where specifically those fires and out breaks were. The problem is that i can't figure out excatly where he was located. All i know is that he is at a school and a church that we thought was St annes. But i'm starting to think that the info is wrong as the only time i've found his name is in connection to ST pauls. i'm currently reading his thesis..i think partly because i have always wanted to and it's some sort of connection and i'm looking for reference to where he grew up as it is about the kikuyu culture.

My one request is that you pray for him, Moses, and for his family. His wife mary and thier kids Faith,sharrack, ruth and Elijah. And also pray for the country as a whole.

Later.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Erin is going to have a schedualed outrage at 1:13 pm.

I hate it i hate it i hate it! art makes me sick to my stomach and gives me alcers. There are days that i would rather take math. ( i can't believe i just said that).

I wanted to burst into tears yesterday in class from the stress.

I just lost basically 500$ with exams because my avrage dropped so much. I havn't had such a low english mark in years. Now i won't be able to get the same entrace scholarship into STU. Damn it.

My fear is that i will end up in debt and then be too stressed to continue school and then have to quit but then all the money will have been wasted.\

Frustration.

Mixed feelings

There are moments that i can't wait to get out of this place ( most of the time actaully) but then there are those times that i really just want to curl up in a ball in the corner of maket square and never leave. Things that for years i've taken for grantit are now becoming apperent to me.

A little example: Milk. i so didn't realise how flippen expensive it is. It's my favorite but i think that i will have to give it up. Because not only will i be broke but i also can't seem to understand why MILK is so expensive, for goodness sake it comes from cows. Maybe if they didn't give all those cows chemicals and hormones the milk would be cheaper ( actaually i understand taht it actaully would be more expensive..) But Still . argg

There are things and people that i will miss terrribly, and some of them i feel slipping away already. i hate it. i feel as if people are preparing for seperation and are there for taking less of an intrest in eachother.


Well that's all for now kids.

-Erin
Dearest blog, I have neglected you as i have been focused on the new blog.
But you must remember that you serve a purpose you my blog are ment for rambles and emotional posts and things that arn't just day to day.