So today is good friday and i was sitting in church thinking about the amazing gift that jesus gave us the gift of life. he died willingly because he loved us each so much, each wipping he took was for me and for you . He died so that we could be free from the bonds of this world.so today i'm lifting up all my worries and troubles up to the lord and lying them at the foot of the cross.
-Hodge

So i was thinking today how negative this blog will sound if i only ask my self about the little rocks. I should also write about the positive things, days when i feel like i'm running bare feet across perfect white sand beaches.
So here are the perfect beaches that i've experinced latly.
-talking till 12:30am on the phone with a friend that i had feared i was losing touch with.
-having a 4 year old boy run and jump into my arms and give me the best hug i've ever had, for no reason at all!
-having a group of kids look up to me and really listen to me.
-knowing that i have people in my life that love me for who i am.
-having guys that aren't really my brothers become more like my brothers than ever before.
So these are just a few of the positive things, blessings, and joys that make the walk a little more enjoyable.
Hodge

undoing the laces.

so..i think the first question i need to ask myself is :where did i pick up the rock?i'm not sure if i can really figure out where i picked up the first rock but i presume it was quite a few years ago so for now i'll focus on today.
Where and when did the rock get in my shoe today?
- it might have been when i first woke up..i woke up knowing that today was going to be one long day.i had a pain the head and my hands had gone mysteriously numb.i walk down staires only to fight with my mother.Great start to my day.
-or it could of been on the bus.
-or when my hands became so numb that i had a hard time moving them
-or it could of been when i failed two chemistry tests in one week.
-or it could of been in art class listening to the people beside me talk about things that they know nothing about but unfourtunatly i struggle with every day. They make judgements and jokes and i can't say a thing because then they would know who i am and what i live with.
-or was it after art class when i made myself belive that the things they said were true.
-or it could of been when i came back home only to fight with my mother a little more.
-or when i was running through the rain and tripped off the curb and twisted my ancle
-or when the lady treated my like i was 8.
-or when i downed 4 cups of black coffee so that i could feel somewhat alert
-or when i had to say bye to the people who when i'm around i feel most like myself.

these were the little rocks in my shoe today and i've have just shaken them out.
-time to start walking again
Hodge

there's a rock in my shoe

Well if i had to sum up my day in one sentence it would be "Once again there's a rock in my shoe."All day i've been walking around with a stupid little rock that got stuck in my shoe when walking.And all day i keep planning to take of my shoe and shake it out, but then i wonder what if someone sees? would look kinda odd? and what if my feet stink? so all day i continued to put up with this stupid little rock ,but by the end of the day it didn't feel quite so little any more .The rock itself hadn't grown but i noticed it more and it hurt more and more every time i walked. Then it hit me this is how i've been living -carring a stupid little rock afraid to deal with it because i might make a fool of my self in the process. but every day, every hour ,each step of this life i take the rock gets heavier sharper and more painful. I've made my self hold on to it for so long that it feels as if i can't get rid of it. so this blog is my attemped at taking off my shoes turing them upside down and shaking the stupid little rocks out. When i'm done i'll put them back one and start my walk again but next time i'll know to get the rock out before it starts hurting.
-hodge