So many thoughts & questions prt 1.

My mind is racing. my head is full. i can think straight because so many things are going on in my head. obessive thinking is my problem.compulsive?i don't know.I cannot even begin to fully explain everything but i need to try to get some of this out. deep breath.

*please skip this post if rambling is something you have a problem with.

so the last ..year has brought me many questions but the last few months i have been over whelmed. this week in particular.and i'm not even sure where to start.
this week at youth group we looked at the story of the prodical son.(luke 5:8) i've heard this story over and over i could recite it if i had to.but the other night i saw it in a whole new light.now i know what i'm about to go on abpout has been said by many people all through the ages but please bare with me as i do it once again.

i feel like that son.reading that story i can now relate. i've taken what the father gave me and scwandered it.i ran off and wasted evey thing. and when i was gone i was left empty and basically eating with the pigs.now i'm coming to my sences and realizing that i'm hungry but if i were home with my father i would be full.so i guess now i'm going home i can see the father in the distance but i'm stuck. my feet won't move.my heart tells them to go my my head is to busy questioning itself to make them move.
now many people leave it at that.they compare themselves to the son and drop it. but thats where i saw the story in a new way. it's not about the son or me it's about the father. maybe the story should be titles "the forgiving father"the father is running with his arms wide open just longing for the son to come home. and when the son finnaly makes his heas listen to his heart and embrasses the father.the father instantaniouly forgives the son.this takes the breath from me.what i wonderful promise!
in the bible i was reading form at youth there was a set of bible study questions. here is one of them.
look at your life, where are you?
1. at home but not very happy
2.in the far off country
3.coming to your sences
4.on the way home but not sure what you'll find
5.just arrived and feeling great
6.enjoying the party

this question made me think and i encourage you to think about it too. but it also brought up the question : do we get to the party in this life?or is heaven the party?.

well i'm coming home but i'm not sure what i'll find but i sure hope that the partys not to far off.

-erin